Love, Lust And Longing During a Pandemic

How we deal with relationships now?

Just because everyone is at home, it doesn’t mean that love or searching for it has stopped.  In Cupid’s eyes, this world-wide lockdown hasn’t quenched the appetite of singles nor stop the lover-ing of couples.  For Singletons out there, the quest for romance is at its peak, virtually.  Surveys coming out have said that there has been an increased spike of usage on dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Blindlee.

Now, with lockdowns extending in various countries. Building connections with the right people is an all-important matter. On the other side of the spectrum, couples are isolating together while some are loving from afar. Could this be the new normal? People from different walks of life are suddenly all put into this new reality where no one knows when it will end. Relationships, like everything else in this crisis, are being put to the test. In writing this article, we’ve conducted interviews with several individuals on what dating and relationships are like in the time of COVID-19. Singletons like Louis, 27, M and Ericka, 26, F find this lockdown as necessary as it is trying.


“I get matches yes, but what is the point about it when you can’t meet someone?.” says Louis. Naturally, with apps like Tinder, meeting up with a date in person is usually the result of having a decent conversation with someone and then hanging out in real life. but with the current scenario now, when can having a date happen?
For others, like Ericka, this is the perfect time to bolster and make the most of what you can. ” I’ve talked to guys and made plans for what do after the lockdown, but it’s not always like that. I’ve gotten some weirdness from a few guys, and it just made it clear, that this sh*t is making people act out. Sometimes in a not so pleasing way.”
Lack of sex can frustrate anyone, especially when you’re looking at just being home for months. It’s also not healthy per se.  Self – pleasure is now the new norm, if not for pure gratification, but to release any pent up energy that has been building up.
Sex toys, imagination, and porn have become essential to curb frustrations from growing. As Elle Woods once said, ” Endorphins make people happy.”  and this is a theory that has been proven true. You can only do so much with intense work-outs and there is nothing wrong about putting on a video, lighting a candle, and relaxing in your way.
But others are opting to find ways to sate their need for personal interaction. Due to governments placing strict orders on having visitors at home, there can be no usual gatherings or late-night visitors. Since that has become the case, Singletons look for companionship within their local vicinity. In saying this, one has to wonder if those dalliances don’t end up muddled after COVID. For some couples isolating together, this amount of time spent at home has become a new scenario that they cherish. Take for example; 25-year-old Rachel, a mother to a 10-month-old baby girl. Her routine consisted of having a balanced lifestyle that coincided with taking care of herself, her relationship, career, and her child.

Venice, 1940 | Phot source

The positive effect that this pandemic bought about is the fact that we’re spending more time together, communication is clearer, we learned to talk things out, especially since we have a kid together.” Boredom has become one of the negative effects of being at home, especially for couples who are used to having their date nights out. Now people are starting to think of new activities to do, ways to spice up their sex life, and keeping things vibrant. because if anything, team-work makes the dream work. For others, being in a long-distance relationship is never ideal. Imagine now, the possibility of seeing each other is not available in the unforeseeable future. Gab, 23, M finds his long-distance relationship even more demanding than usual.” She’s become needier since the lockdown happened. Our relationship became stagnant because we keep talking about the same things and she has no motivation to do other activities whereas, I’m trying to do other things to enhance myself intellectually. “ Whilst for Nicole, F, and Alexa F, 25 this pandemic has allowed them to learn about themselves and their partners. Alexa quips “I felt that during this time we got to communicate more often since we’re both working from home. Although we’ve been together for years now, I do still learn new things about him. Just recently, I know he’s always been the type of guy who’s very compassionate towards others. But I didn’t know he would do the extra mile to help as much as he can.”

On the other hand, Nicole has to say this about her relationship  “Communication became murky at first, but we’re working on that. I just think this is like the time when we were in a long-distance relationship before. It’s something we’re used to.”
Generally speaking, since this pandemic grasped the world by its feet, everything changed. The meaning of love, lust, and longing during these uncertain times have proved to be as resilient as the people who are in it.Because if there is one thing that this chaotic period has taught all of us, it is to make the most out of what we can and to move forward with clear intentions in mind, not just for the people around us but ourselves. Since we’re all in this together, in one way or the other.


Article by Cyan Leigh